i got a 55% on my calculus quiz today :) just call me math genius :)
On our first date, I told you I was flighty. Impatient. Easily bored.
I don’t paint my nails because I can never sit still long enough
for even one coat to dry. I don’t fold my laundry because I hate the routine. I would rather buy new cutlery than wash my old ones.
Maybe I’m lazy. Maybe I have no motivation. Maybe I’m just looking for somebody to grab my shoulders and give me a shake and explain what normal is and why I should do it. But sometimes I brush my teeth for seven minutes straight because it just feels right. Some nights
I put my pillow on the opposite end of the bed because I’m still hopeful that I’ll wake up differently if I sleep differently. I never do.
Sometimes I forget that I’m reading in the middle of flipping a page,
instead struck by the thought we would rather make paper than oxygen, would rather have one less life-source than one less novel. I wonder about priorities. I wonder about people who think it’s necessary to match their socks when they leave the house every morning as if that’s what determines their character. I wonder about people who carry around purses that contain nothing but gum. I wonder about people who spend all their hours at a desk and then return to their house to pass the night alone in a cold bed with a frozen dinner. I wonder if they think that money will make them happier than other humans. I don’t like kissing when I have lipstick on, because I’m afraid of leaving a stain on a cheek, as if I’m marking my territory somewhere I don’t belong, as if I’m trespassing on camera. I stay up for twenty hours a day and spend the other fours hours knowing that the longest a person can stay alive without sleep is ten days. I wonder if my nervous system has begun to break down, leaving me nervous and broken along with it. I don’t understand the pills the doctors prescribed me even though they told me I was just upset over being broken up with. I told them I wasn’t upset, I was morose. I was downtrodden. I was a leaky ship; still afloat but getting lower under the weight of the water every second. I didn’t want to sink. I wanted to sail. But they didn’t tell me that the happy little green and white pills would make me plateau. On our first date, I said I felt flat. Not the kind of flat of calm water on a windless day, but the kind of flat that you associate with deflated balloons. All out of air or out of breath or struggling to find any words left. I felt like the kind of flat that musicians hate. That I hate and I can’t play a single instrument. On our first date, I think I told you I would understand if you didn’t stay. Nobody did and I never blamed them. I was too busy wondering about people who believed in numbers and the healing power of yoga on 3 a.m mornings and tying their shoes without kneeling down to notice when they left. I am stuck inside of a world that I don’t quite understand, with people I never seem to connect with.
FIRST DATE CONVERSATION (K.P.K)
Reading the tags/comments on my post about prom has me in actual tears. I am at a loss for words at how grateful I am for the wonderful people on this website. I’m not kidding when I say I’m crying. My heart feels so full of love for all of you kind, kind people. Thank you so much for the warmth you constantly show me.
I often imagine our world as a pottery wheel and people as clay. No matter how the world spins, it makes the soft people hard and the weak people delicate. It’s up to you whether you call that art.
Pottery Wheel World (K.P.K)
Hey guys! I rarely come to you guys for help but I figure this is something kind of important to me so I may as well take a shot at it.
My “school’s” prom this year, is off-site. And I put “school’s” in quotation because since it’s off-site, they refuse to have anything to do with it. And I mean anything. We’re not allowed to sell tickets on school property, have prom committee meetings on school property, fund-raise on school property, we’re not even allowed to talk about prom on school property. It’s pretty intense.
So because my school is providing exactly 0 dollars to prom, the graduating class has to somehow raise enough money to be able to afford a venue, a deejay, food, and all of that stuff, as well as making sure prom is affordable for each and every member of the graduating class. So, in short terms, we need a hell of a lot of money.
So what I’m asking is incredibly small but I hope each one of you can find it in your hearts to help out this little love-struck teenage girl who really wants to help out her friends, and her graduating class, and help make prom happen because I’ve been dreaming about this day since sixth grade.
I have over 62 000 followers. Even if just half of you donated a dollar, we would be able to host our prom and then donate the rest to charity. Think about it. Just one dollar. That’s all I’m asking. And I’m so sorry for doing it on this blog but I don’t think I would have been able to sleep well at night knowing I had a chance to help my graduating class, and have done nothing.
All you have to do is go to paypal.com and make a 1$ donation to firstname.lastname@example.org. Even 0.50$ would mean the world to me, because it means I would be helping out, and helping pay for those who wouldn’t be able to go otherwise.
Thank you so much. It really means the world to me and if you could send this message around, I would really appreciate it.
Remember: Paypal.com and email@example.com.
Help make prom happen.
I want you to love me more than you love good literature. More than you love graffiti and sex and home-cooked meals. I want you to love me more than you love the way the grass smells after it’s been cut, the way the world spins around you as you roll down a hill, the way you feel after a full night’s sleep. I want you to love me more than you love all of your favourite things. Because I love you so much. You are all of my favourite things wrapped up into one person.
Your Favourite Things (K.P.K)